my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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