I want to make a zoo with you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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