Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
