That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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