I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
