dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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