wanna go halves on a baby?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
