Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
