Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
