I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
