i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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