why didn't you poke me back
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
