we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
