Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
