This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
