Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
