did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
