grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
