If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
