you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We left an ass print on the piano.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
