yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude