I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
