How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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