Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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