If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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