Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
