his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
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