oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
