I have demons in me.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Never let your siblings swipe right.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
