Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
