The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
