Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
