You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
