Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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