He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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