Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
