new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
