he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
last night I used snow as a chaser
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
