I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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