Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
