I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
