I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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