Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
