How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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