i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
