The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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