I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize