Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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