Your tits are I can't wait for
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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