please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
