so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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