when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
