so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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