I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
