does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
