For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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