in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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